Where are the Miracles?

I have unfortunately had a bit of a set back once again with my health this past week. My poor heart, darn it. It sure is trying but it is just getting so tired. Needless to say my little ladies have really been struggling. I was able to come home from the hospital today, hooray, but my sweet girls have been so discouraged. In fact, one of my little ladies told her Dad last night that she really does not think that miracles still exist. "How can things be so hard, and where are these miracles that you keep talking about", she asked with tears streaming down her face. My sweet husband, being the tender man that he is just held her and let her cry. It is difficult to explain to such a little one that all of these experiences in this life, either trying or wonderful, really are for our good, even when you have a sick mama. I have been thinking about her question a lot today and I started to think about what a "Miracle" really is. I guess what a "miracle" means to me. As I was looking through our photo albums today, I was reminded of a time when my little son was almost a year old.



We were going back to one of the NICU follow-up appointments that we were required to go to every few months. It was always such a fun and exciting time. Some of our most favorite nurses and Doctors who we had fallen in love with were there, some of my most special and dear friends, and other mama's with their sweet little ones were there. It really was such a fun reunion! Most of the children were sitting, some were making fun noises and looking into their mama's eyes, some were playing with toys, and some were even walking. They were all growing and changing so much and it was such a joy to see. These were little ones that had overcome tremendous odds, and were just, well, just PERFECT. Truly a "miracle", each one of them. But... for a brief moment my heart just broke. As I looked around at all these little ones I knew that my son would never have the ability to sit like they could, or look into my eyes and smile. He would never crawl, would never run into our arms, and would probably not live for a great deal longer, and I felt so discouraged. But within that same moment, as I looked at my little peanut, I was so touched by this beautiful sense of peace, and the wonderful knowledge that there were so many wonderful things that my little man could do.



He could smile, the best and most perfect smile, he loved so perfectly, he could giggle and snuggle like the best of them. His accomplishments were not the same as the others, and probably not very noticeable to anyone else but me, but they were amazing "miracles" in their own right. To me, he was and will always be just "Perfect" .That day was a huge lesson to me. Sometimes I have found in my life that I get so caught up in the looking for the "HUGE" accomplishments or "Huge" miracles, that I forget to recognize the small and precious miracles that happen everyday. I guess that sometimes it is easy to look at others and see how wonderful their life is, just as my little lady is doing. But the more that I thought about it, I realized that MY son was a true miracle in every way, just as each of my little ladies are. But I truly believe that these "Miracles" that we are so often searching for can be found in the most seemingly mundane of things. So my sweet little daughter who will read this tomorrow I am sure,lol,(she loves blogs) here are a couple of my most favorite "miracles" that have happened just today.



1. You! Every smile, every giggle, every tender hug, and compassionate thought is a "miracle" to me! Just being able to come home to your sweet hugs and kisses is one of my most special "miracles":) I love you.



2. Your Dad! Your kind Dad is my most favorite "Happy Thought". His love for me and you little ladies is still such a tender miracle to me. With little to no sleep, he still laughs and smiles and puts every one's needs before his own. A pretty darn great "miracle".



3. Chocolate, well just because! Isn't it a "Miracle" that it tastes SO DARN YUMMY! lol:) They would NEVER give it to me in the hospital, sooooo what a "miracle" to come home and find some, lol!





















4. Family! A Sister who will drop everything to drive hundreds of miles just to be a comfort to me. A "miracle" especially when it also involves several hours of screaming and starving children, lol!



5. Amazingly tender, giving, and loving friends who perform such incredible acts of kindness and will serve at any moments notice. They secretly do all my laundry and clean my house, and then bring the most yummy "heart healthy" meal. (A "miracle" that heart healthy food can taste so good:)LOL! (If you had to eat it, you would agree with my MIRACLE,lol) They continue to love me in spite of my many weaknesses, and crazy plans, and are always there to make me laugh.



6. A visit from such an amazingly compassionate and tender Relief Society President who loves with her whole soul and will sacrifice all that she has for all of these dear ladies whom she loves and serves. Thank you so much, it was a "miracle" that you showed up when you did, and an answer to my husbands prayers. I love you!





















7. Well......LOL, a "Miracle":)

I could go on for hours, really, I could, lol! But I was reminded of a scripture that I recently read. It is in Moroni 7:27 it says: Wherefore, my beloved brethren, have miracles ceased because Christ hath ascended into heaven... and in verse 37 it says: Behold I say unto you, Nay; for it is by faith that miracles are wrought; and it is by faith that angels appear and minister unto men....

So many of you have been ANGELS to us and my life has been so blessed by your willingness to "minister" unto me and my sweet little family. I have been blessed by so many miracles and continue to see them in your kind messages, your loving acts of service and in my little ladies tender smiles. They are found in the selflessness of a family member or in the memories of our little man. So my little one, I do believe that "Miracles" do happen everyday, and will continue to happen, we just need to have faith and the ability to recognize them. Thank you for reminding me to always look for those things that may seem mundane, but are true and wonderful "Miracles". I love you!

Our Little Book Worms

Both of my girls LOVE to read, and ALWAYS find the most interesting places to do it! LOL!
























Emee usually reads to her little buddy Wickett. It always amazes me that he stays completely still for the ENTIRE time!

"Carpe Diem"

"Carpe Diem" is my new motto these days! There are many things in my life that I have REALLY wanted to do, but always end up putting them off for whatever reason. For example I really want to meet Rob Pattinson someday, lol, I really want to go to England and ride on the "Hogwarts Express", I really want to visit the Sacred Grove with my children and husband, and I really want to go to Maine and have a fresh lobster dinner. Well you get the idea, my list is quite long. One of the things that I have been wanting to do for a long time was to cut my hair short again. My excuse always was that I wanted to lose more weight first. Sooooo, I decided that there are a few things that I just may not have the opportunity to do in this lifetime, but there are some things that I am going to stop putting off. So, hooray, "Carpe Diem", I cut it all off. Now..... on to meeting Rob Pattinson, LOL! (Sorry that the pictures are in black and white, my flash was not working well)

To the man I love!

This week my sweet husband and I celebrated our 14th Wedding Anniversary. Wahooo! What an exciting time! I know that I talk about my husband all the time, but I am infinitely grateful for the blessing of him in my life. His friendship, love and sense of humor have made me a better person, a better mother, and well.... just better. I adore him, and feel so blessed to have spent the last 14 years with such a remarkable person. He serves without question, is the hardest worker I know, is such an amazing and fun father, and can make me laugh even in the most difficult of times. Eric has always been remarkably patient with all my crazy ideas and there have been many:) So Eric, thank you. Happy Anniversary my love.

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A Kind Gift From Stephanie Meyer, No Really!

My very dear friend Carrie is the cousin of my most favorite author Stephanie Meyer. Carrie had told her a little bit about my situation as of late, and the other day we received a very special package from Stephanie. To say that I was excited is a complete understatement. If I had the ability to, I would have skipped, or at least attempted a very cool wheelie in my wheelchair!! Stephanie sent me a signed copy of the Collector's Edition of Twilight, as well as signed Twilight T-Shirts for my little ladies, with their names on them. Sassy is completely convinced that Stephanie is magic. They were amazed that she knew their names and how to spell them. My girls have not read the books or seen the movie, well.... they are still a little to young, but I tell you, these little ladies have worn their shirts with so much pride, and will tell anyone who will listen to them that Stephanie herself sent them this gift. I was so touched that she would think of my little ladies, and would do something so special for them. She absolutely made our day! I had invited all of my best buddies over to open the gift with me and to take pictures.(Annie is not pictured here, she was taking the pictures) I know very little about Stephanie as a person, other than the fact that she wrote a super cool series and that she is a mom herself, but I was so touched that she would send such a kind gift to someone that she knew little to nothing about. This may be something that she does quite often, she seems like a very compassionate person, but to our little family it meant the world. It was such a fun moment for us, so Carrie, thank you, thank you so much, we love you! And to all my ladies, you are the very best! I am always so touched at the lengths that you will go to for me. I adore you all! HOORAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love my sister!

This weekend was so wonderful! My cute sister came to visit me from California for a couple of days and it was so PERFECT! I loved every minute of her being here. I have not had a chance to see her since I got so sick, so it was wonderful to just laugh and spend time together. She is such a special part of my life and I wish so much that we did not live so far apart. I adore my little sister so much and feel so grateful for her. She is absolutely beautiful both inside and out, and has blessed my life in so many ways. So Mist, I love you, we ALL miss you already!

Meet little "Wickett"

Today was a "HUGE" day for my little ladies. Ever since my girls have been able to talk, they have wanted to have a pet. Unfortunately Eric and I are not really animal people, and really that is a bit of an understatement! I am a little OCD about things being clean, and I cannot handle pet smells of any kind. Needless to say the girls have had to make do with our fish outside in our pond. I know....not very cuddly. However, both of my little ladies are obsessed with animals. In fact, they both would like to have a career working with animals in some way someday. This year, Emee made a goal to care for a animal every day for the next year. (Which I must say was amazingly well played on her part, seeing as we don't have any animals, and are huge fans of supporting goal setting, LOL) So needless to say, today we bought the girls an adorably sweet little Guinea Pig named Wickett (named after their favorite Star Wars Ewok). They were so excited, Emee even wrote a little song for it. Needless to say, I got myself a years worth of Bath and Body Works plug-ins in honor of our newest little family member! LOL!

"Come what may, and love it".

Since the beginning of December, life for my little family has changed pretty drastically. I remember after my little peanut passed away feeling a little lost. The girls had returned to school and Eric was back at work, so life was moving along as it should. But when Caleb was alive he was my day and if he was awake he had to be held upright so that he could breathe. So my days were spent holding and loving my little man. After he passed, I did not feel like I had anything to really "go back to". I remember wondering how I could magnify my calling as a mother when my little ladies were gone all day, and with such a broken heart. But time went on as it does and I filled my time with callings, temple work, and some volunteer work at the girls school. Life was wonderful again. However, since my release from the hospital life is quite different again. I can no longer have any exertion because my heart is still too weak to allow it, I can't go many places because the risk of getting sick is too high and I just can't do it, and I am generally too exhausted to do much of anything but sit on the couch. So once again, I feel like I am in a position where I am wondering how in the world can I be a Mom to my sweet children, and truthfully my heart has been a little bit broken, literally, lol! This past week I decided that I was in desperate need of something "Good". So I started reading the last Conference Ensign and in there was a talk from Elder Wirthlin entitled "Come what may, and love it". If you have not yet had a chance to read it, I would really encourage you to. (Just follow this link-) http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=2354fccf2b7db010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=b5f44bb52a73d110VgnVCM100000176f620a____&hideNav=1 It really did my heart good. We talked about this article for Family Home Evening on Monday and my sweet daughters told me all the reasons why "They Love" me being so sick.

1. I am always in the same place I was when they leave the room. (which NEVER happened before)

2. I am home, so I can still love them.

3. They love that they can run up the stairs and I cannot chase them. (Which my little Sassy is taking FULL advantage of, LOL)

4. They LOVE how kind everyone is to our little family. (In fact after church on Sunday, Hannah said, "Mom I hope that this does not hurt your feelings, but since you got sick PEOPLE LOVE US!" I think that they have really realized the importance of service!)

5. They love pushing my wheelchair, which can have it's own set of dangers! LOL!

6. They love that our family is not as busy as we were. (It was good for me to hear that, because that is something that I am missing a little bit.)

7. But most of all they just love that I am still living and can be their mama.

I love my sweet girls! So this week my goal is to find things "To Love" about my new life. I am still working on it, and it may take a little bit of time, but I am determined to enjoy the time that I have been blessed with.

The Best Way to Start the New Year

Yesterday we had the opportunity to go to our sweet little friend's baptism. Abby just barely turned eight and the Munson family was able to get special permission to have her baptism on New Years Day while all 10 of their kids and spouses were in town. It was so wonderful, and we felt so blessed to be a part of it. She just glowed! She had the most peaceful look on her sweet face and she looked like a little princess. I have decided that we should have a baptism every year on New Years Day. LOL! It was the most perfect way to start the new year. So thank you Munsons for allowing us to be a part of it. Oh... I also had a chance to meet Amber and Ben's' "Tiny Queen" for the first time. I just feel in love with this little red haired angel, isn't she sweet!

Fun in the snow.

We were so excited to get a pretty good snowstorm yesterday. My family was so excited that they could not stay in the house any longer. Eric was dying to go for a ride in his Jeep and the girls have been dying to go sledding. So in the middle of this awesome storm we decided to head up to Simplot. (Sorry for the spelling. I have no idea how it is actually spelled) I was able to stay in the Jeep and keep warm and watch them all have so much fun sledding. The girls absolutely loved it, and were very sad when we had to leave. It was so much fun to be able to enjoy the snow. I LOVE WINTER!

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Christmas, Hooray!

Oh, I always feel a little sad the day after Christmas. Partly because I am so sad that it is over, and also because I am ready to have EVERYTHING cleaned up right away! LOL!

We had such a wonderful Christmas this year and I wish that it would have lasted a little longer! I loved every minute of it. It was so much fun to get up early and watch my little ladies open all their gifts in their cute Christmas jammies. This year was so much fun because we had asked the girls not to ask for anything and to just let us surprise them. I think that they actually liked it better that way as well. We did our traditional dinner on Christmas Eve, and a big breakfast on Christmas morning. So the rest of the day was watching Star Wars movies, and playing with the girls. We loved it!

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Winter Wonderland

We have been so blessed to get so much snow the past couple of days. Well, a lot of snow for Idaho! LOL! It has been so wonderful and so exciting! My little family has had so much fun. They built a super cool snow fort in our front yard yesterday. Both girls have been praying for a White Christmas, and I think that we might actually get it! Hooray! Check out the cute pictures!

Christmas Traditions

We are a little behind on doing some of our Christmas traditions this year, but we are slowly catching up. Hooray:) This weekend we took the girls out for our annual Christmas Lights drive. We bundled them up in their jammies, got the Hot Chocolate and treats and spent about 3 hours looking at all the cool lights around here. The girls LOVED it and had so much fun!



We also put our Gingerbread House together. Usually, every year Emee can hardly wait and ends up attacking it and devouring it the day after we build it, and Hannah usually ends up crying. This year my sweet little Emee decided that for Hannah's Christmas gift she was not going to touch it until Christmas Day! LOL! Ahhhhhhh, the Christmas Spirit. LOL!

Christmas Shopping with Annie

Last night one of my best buddies, Annie, came and picked up my little ladies to take them on a special date. They were in heaven! She took them Christmas shopping and out to dinner, then they went to her house to wrap everything and make Christmas cards. They had a BLAST and have not stopped talking about much fun they had. It was such a sweet gift from my friend to my little ladies, so thank you Annie, we adore you! While my girls were out my sweet husband took me to the mall (in a wheelchair) and just pushed me around for about an hour. It was so wonderful to get out, and to feel a little bit normal. Well as normal as you can feel in a wheelchair, lol! I still feel pretty weak, but it was so wonderful. I have been going a little crazy being in the house, so it was so much fun!!!! Thanks for the giving us the time to have a little date my friend, we loved it! Check out some of the cute pictures of Annie with the girls!

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Our Nativity

One of my buddies, Nicole, encouraged everyone to take a picture of their Nativity to share with everyone. I thought that it was a wonderful idea, so I thought that I would follow suit. We actually just got our Nativity last year. We have always had one for our little ladies to play with, but we could never really afford one that I liked until last year. Eric bought it for me for Christmas, and I just feel in love with it. We added the animals this year, and I love the whole feel of this Nativity. I think that my favorite part is how Joseph is looking at Mary.

I thought that I would post one of my favorite quotes about Christmas from one of our prophets, Gordon B. Hinckley. He said,

"And so at this Christmas season, we sing His praises and speak our words of faith and gratitude and love. It is His influence in our lives that stirs within us more kindness, more respect, more love, more concern. It is because of Him and His teachings that we reach out to those in trouble, distress, and need wherever they may be.What a glorious season is this time of Christmas. Hearts are softened. Voices are raised in worship. Kindness and mercy are reenthroned as elements in our lives. There is an accelerated reaching out to those in distress. There is an aura of peace that comes into our homes. There is a measure of love that is not felt to the same extent at any other time of the year".



(This is why I love Christmas so much!)